Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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