Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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