There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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