It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
