I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
