Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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