Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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