I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
