I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
