i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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