so explain again why im purple
no
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
