I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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