He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
