making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
