Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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