Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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