i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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