I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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