Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
