so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
