Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
