My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
