my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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