when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
