How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
