i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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