You did not just play the dead husband card again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
