Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
