If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Im part way to drunk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize