I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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