Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
