omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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