I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
