The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
