Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
