Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
