$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
