the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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