we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
