the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
