somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
