i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
