There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
