marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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