I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
