i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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