So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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