We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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