You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
