did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
