Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
