ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dignity is for republicans.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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