You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
