Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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