U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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