Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
