She is in my trunk
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
